Loss

I never thought I’d think to myself ‘I miss my boob’ but I do. I miss it. It was apart of me – there with it’s little sidekick. Not doing a massive amount and not exactly taking up much space but that’s fine. They were my pokey boobs and now there’s only one. I look

Worry, worry and abit more worry

The cancer train is so shit sometimes… a lot of the time…. occasionally ok. After a few weeks of some neck pain following a cricked neck I was admitted into hospital for an emergency MRI and bed rest. It’s such a fine balance between trying to be realistic in life with body pains and aches,

Small steps

4 months out of treatment now – actually seems like longer to be honest. I now have a full head of wild wavy hair and beginning to feel a bit stronger. Still exhausted but I’m not really sure side effects are totally to blame when we have a new four legged friend in the house!!

Know your normal

The other problem with being diagnosed with cancer is the constant stress and worry this causes. Every tiny ache, pain, bruise or strange feeling sends my mind instantly into overdrive and panic that the shit is back.  Booked to have a bone scan because of some back ache I’ve been having. Most people wouldn’t think

New normal

So I’m a month out of treatment. Weird statement. To be honest I’m feeling ok… ish but generally ok. I feel like I’m waiting for a wave of emotions to come, for the realisation of the past 8months to smack me in the face but it’s not yet. To be honest I’m kind of just

So what now?

8 months ago I sat in a room and felt my heart beating in my ears as I heard the words “this is a breast cancer”   8 months ago I was told of a treatment plan – chemotherapy, surgery, radiotherapy. The next months mapped out for me. These months now DONE!  These past 8 months

Radiotherapy

So radiotherapy is fine. However VERY repetitive and already boring. Hospital trip everyday, getting changed, lying on the bed, being measured with lasers, breathing in, holding my breath, breathing out, machine thing spinning round, breath in, breath out, machine spins, get changed. Repeat, repeat, repeat.  Trip normally also involves snacks of some kind…. wouldn’t be

Radiotherapy lead up

Spoke to radiotherapy doctor about the whole process and what this part involves. Went through the next steps and then she had to tell me about the side effects- burned skin, sensitivity, stiff shoulder etc etc the list goes on… oh and might cause cancer!! Hang on… hold up… say what!!! Its bloody laughable really.

Results

I honestly feel like the boys, mainly Henry, are going to grow up really affected by this whole situation. I mean it’s the early years in life when brain connections are made and things and although they may not remember it (I don’t have any memories from being 3) doesn’t mean it’s not going to

Surgery

So ended up getting a phone call for surgery on Tuesday 7th and called in for the surgery on the 14th. Most pre op questions were done over the phone but then had to go in and have bloods and a chest X-ray done on the Thursday. That required a trip to the hospital which